Ever since Snowden spilled his crushed beans, certain sectors of the populace have been, in varying degrees, reacting to the "invasion" of their privacy. There are many creative (but not so original I must admit) ways of thwarting the snooping computers located (per Snowden) in Utah. Personally, I think all those computers are hidden in some remote place in the Ozarks, proving the NSA is smarter than Snowden!
First in my list of safeguards to my privacy is to have my own private island. It will have the following basic features: no electricity in any form (solar, battery, etc.) so that means it's going to be a dead zone even for CB radios; that means no refs and freezers, too; no doctors, medicine (not even Tylenol) nurses or suntan lotion; no money, credit cards, banks or access to any financial institution; no typewriters (ribbons can be stolen and read); no newspapers and no mail service; no houses (that means I can avoid buying stuff from Walmart, Men's Wearhouse and Home Depot); and no clothes, shoes, hats!
In short, I'll be the new Neanderthal! If I get sick, that'll be the end. Even a rotten tooth can mean Boot Hill. If the ticker starts doing a square dance or a slow ballet, there won't be a cell phone to connect to anyone... not even 911. I won't even have a Progresso phone to the kitchen.
Alas, since Mother Earth does not have 8 billion islands, that route is closed. I can, however, start deleting paper trails leading to my location by working for cash only, paying for my purchases in cash or service. To go to work, I'll walk and that means no car, no traffic tickets, no need for a radar detector and no bills for oil change, inspection, gas and repairs. Oh, my - I'll be rich. Since I won't hide my money in the bank (to evade electronic trails) I'll be an easy target for muggers. And since I can't buy a gun in New York for self protection (I don't want to fill up a ton of papers just to get a gun) I'll arm myself with a baseball bat or a commando knife. Better yet so I won't stick out like a sore thumb I'll go to Karate school.
Since all I earn and spend is real money, nothing is recorded and the IRS can't touch me. True, they have my Social Security number but the IRS can't connect any money earned or spent to my number! If enough people do it my way, the IRS will simply cease to have any reason to exist! Oh, yes - remember I have this phobia of spreading information about me - I won't be a registered voter! Won't even use social meida! The politicians can suck it up 'cause I don't exist! Since I won't use the post office I won't any mail leading to my whereabouts which, by the way will be in the woods or under a seldom used bridge (until a crowd of like-minded denizens start filling up my turf).
And since I don't have a passport, all the tourist spots abroad will rot. The Eiffel Tower will rust away and the Leaning Tower of Pisa will finally fall down!
For those of you utterly ill with nomophobia (fear of being disconnected) and can't wean yourself from your Iphones, computers and Facebook, fear not for I have a solution that will absolutely fill up all those empty spaces in the NSA computers in Utah, Ozarks and Groom Lake: learn to write in several foreign languages and dialects. For example, puede mo bang ma-understand que yo quiero to say kung ako'y akig sa imo pero hindi ko ni-say ang Ingglis 4-letter word at ang ginamit ko apat-na-letrang salita na equivalent nito sa Cebu: yawa! Uki-ni-nana dagiti Talibani! Mabulok kamo con sus virgenes na fangit. Mangia merde! See what I mean?
The final nail in the NSA's coffin? We all use sign language! Can you imagine the billions of cameras the government has to buy to keep an eye on us? One camera every 10 feet!
So, what to do? Let it go! If the Feds buy billions of cameras to track our movements and gazzillions of storage drives, the US will go bankrupt!
Ugh, Kemo Sabe!
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