The Politics of "NO!"
It doesn't take too much imagination to pinpoint where "No" prevails over "let's do it this way" - it's in America! Both Republicans and Democrats practice "No" whenever in power. Depending on one's political inclination, the other party always does it the backward way - carpetbagger style!
For the moment the Republicans are generally out in the cold and yearning to get nearer the warmth of the kitchen so anything coming from the other side of the aisle merits a resounding "NO!" Presidential nominees, budgets, school lunches, healthcare, economic programs, etc., etc., all get the same welcoming reply - NO! If the President declares war against Russia, he's stupid. If he just threatens Russia with sanctions, he's also stupid. "Let's replace him with Jeb" becomes the battle cry!
The Politics of RAPE
In the Philippines, there is no such thing as a political system. Liberal, Nacionalista, Laban, etc., etc., all these parties are organized just for one purpose: to win at all cost up to the extent of using all 3G's: gold, goons and guns. All the so-called parties are members of the invisible LOOT Party!
Yes, that's spelled right - LOOT! It means "LOTS OF OPPORTUNITIES TODAY"!
Majority of the voters (96%) are ignorant farming hicks, squatters, road laborers, etc. who can easily be swayed by a Ph100 handout or a promise of an overseas job (maids, deck swabbers or Japayukis). These voters may have been raised on new textbooks but their teachers are still prisoners of a "Pepe-and-Pilar" mentality: "don't think, just obey what I say"! Where in the world will you see people such as Vilma, Nora and Paquiao getting elected to public office? Or, worse, an ex-con becoming mayor of Manila? Or, former cohorts of FM still winning elections? Or, an inexperienced son of politicians leading the country?
What's causing all these?
Ignorance. Ignorance. Ignorance. Ignorance. That's what.
And the agents of LOOT know this very well so they let the bright ones (like us guys who rant
and rant via social media) keep on ranting! The ignorant voter doesn't understand what you're so upset about.
While the solution is so obvious, no one will dare start anything to make the current ignorant voters more intelligent. The other members of the LOOT Party will shoot it down so movie actors, penny ante singers, minor beauty queens and children of thieves can continue getting elected. Running for public office is an investment in one's future, really. We all know this, right? What's so galling is there's nothing we people with IQs of 75 can do while voters in the below-75 IQ are the majority!
Solution: let the Chinese take over the country! We might get something out of the deal! Yeah, we'll be manufacturing knock-offs of Adidas, Porsche, Lambos, Sketchers, etc. like they're doing in China now. Since we've already abandoned Spanish and English as our "other" languages, replacing it with Mandarin ought to be easier! And because we have Chinesey eyes and noses (not blue eyes and pointy noses) the transition will be so easy!
In short, join the LOOT Party! If we do, wearing a neck brace will be the new status symbol!
Wednesday, May 28, 2014
Monday, March 17, 2014
Bene Pendentes!: Is Perfection the Shield of the Weak?
Bene Pendentes!: Is Perfection the Shield of the Weak?: A sk anyone to define perfection and the simplest description of this vague concept won't be too far from the following: "A state o...
Bene Pendentes!: Does the Pinoy Love to Pay Taxes?
Bene Pendentes!: Does the Pinoy Love to Pay Taxes?: For sure this short blog will elicit anger back in the Philippines. The premise is simple: the Pinoy will pay taxes (income, property, sales...
Bene Pendentes!: Downside of the Digital Age
Bene Pendentes!: Downside of the Digital Age: Ever long for the days when you press "zero" on the phone's keypad and you get a real living person? You do? Man, you're p...
Bene Pendentes!: Thinking of a Friend
Bene Pendentes!: Thinking of a Friend: I have a friend who is very ill. He will remain anonymous, not because that's his wish, but rather he's the kind of person who value...
Thursday, March 13, 2014
Thinking of a Friend
I have a friend who is very ill. He will remain anonymous, not because that's his wish, but rather he's the kind of person who values privacy. We met back in 1966 when I was a lot younger than today (of course!). Comparatively speaking, he was much, much younger than I back then (by 6 years). He was not an outstanding co-worker and neither was I but we got things done as expected of us. Perhaps in our own special way we both were "outstanding" for we never let our bosses down. We worked hard and we played hard. In short, we worked and lived life the fun way.
No, we didn't lead the pack but neither did we bring up the rear. Our work involved using wit, a little of cunning, lots of chutzpa and a truckload of nerve. No, I won't mention what work we did. He got schooled in one of the best Catholic schools while I was kicked out of one and later rejected by another ivy-type Catholic school. My friend teased our co-workers who came from non-sectarian schools but he spared me the sharp edge of his humorous sword. For my part, I never ridiculed his hairless legs!
As time went on, I realized we shared some common traits: we were merciless when it came to teasing the people around us. Oh, we did that sans malice, really. We just "rebranded" them in fun and to be fair we reserved the most ridiculous epithets for our own use. He called me "Tikyo." No, I won't reveal what he called himself except it starts with the noble title "Don!" Don't Juan? No way for he was already tied to the apron strings of his lovely wife (his boss away from work).
There was one thing I noticed about my friend: he kept his thoughts pretty much to himself in one particular topic that always creates conflict and invites discord when discussed emotionally without benefit of scientific proof for that is the kind of person he is: always demanding solid proof. I suppose that trait is what made us useful in our line of work. Ah! I almost let the cat out of the bag! Maybe you can guess - we're not allowed by law to use hyperbole and exaggeration. As Joe Friday says "just the facts, the facts." We can't even utilize puffery for our clients will decapitate us even if our bosses had already castrated us earlier. But it's different when politics is the subject! Hell breaks loose as his humor is replaced by acidic fumes as he fires off epithets.
And that's whyI traced him after we took different paths 46 years ago. I missed my goofy friend so I googled his name and lo and behold he was in Texas campaigning like a madman to get Hillary Clinton back to the White House! You won't believe the time he spent campaigning for her! Me? The most I did was deface my new car with Hillary bumper stickers!
Then something happened last month. My gadfly friend was stricken ill. Recovery was slow but when he did finally speak, his acerbic humor was gone. According to his daughter, it was replaced by benign sagacity. He is too far away for me to visit except when I feel inclined to travel back in time. I see him smiling as he waits for our favorite "victim" (AAA) to make a verbal gaffe! Then, like the Pink Panther, he springs to action! And I follow with a well place stab to deliver the coup de grace! Sometimes our victim is "Caligula." Or, the "Penguin!" Sorry, these are private code names for people we are fond of!
I'm still confident he'll pull this one off and we'll be working together to help Hillary Clinton march back to Washington, D.C.!
No, we didn't lead the pack but neither did we bring up the rear. Our work involved using wit, a little of cunning, lots of chutzpa and a truckload of nerve. No, I won't mention what work we did. He got schooled in one of the best Catholic schools while I was kicked out of one and later rejected by another ivy-type Catholic school. My friend teased our co-workers who came from non-sectarian schools but he spared me the sharp edge of his humorous sword. For my part, I never ridiculed his hairless legs!
As time went on, I realized we shared some common traits: we were merciless when it came to teasing the people around us. Oh, we did that sans malice, really. We just "rebranded" them in fun and to be fair we reserved the most ridiculous epithets for our own use. He called me "Tikyo." No, I won't reveal what he called himself except it starts with the noble title "Don!" Don't Juan? No way for he was already tied to the apron strings of his lovely wife (his boss away from work).
There was one thing I noticed about my friend: he kept his thoughts pretty much to himself in one particular topic that always creates conflict and invites discord when discussed emotionally without benefit of scientific proof for that is the kind of person he is: always demanding solid proof. I suppose that trait is what made us useful in our line of work. Ah! I almost let the cat out of the bag! Maybe you can guess - we're not allowed by law to use hyperbole and exaggeration. As Joe Friday says "just the facts, the facts." We can't even utilize puffery for our clients will decapitate us even if our bosses had already castrated us earlier. But it's different when politics is the subject! Hell breaks loose as his humor is replaced by acidic fumes as he fires off epithets.
And that's whyI traced him after we took different paths 46 years ago. I missed my goofy friend so I googled his name and lo and behold he was in Texas campaigning like a madman to get Hillary Clinton back to the White House! You won't believe the time he spent campaigning for her! Me? The most I did was deface my new car with Hillary bumper stickers!
Then something happened last month. My gadfly friend was stricken ill. Recovery was slow but when he did finally speak, his acerbic humor was gone. According to his daughter, it was replaced by benign sagacity. He is too far away for me to visit except when I feel inclined to travel back in time. I see him smiling as he waits for our favorite "victim" (AAA) to make a verbal gaffe! Then, like the Pink Panther, he springs to action! And I follow with a well place stab to deliver the coup de grace! Sometimes our victim is "Caligula." Or, the "Penguin!" Sorry, these are private code names for people we are fond of!
I'm still confident he'll pull this one off and we'll be working together to help Hillary Clinton march back to Washington, D.C.!
Friday, February 28, 2014
Downside of the Digital Age
Ever long for the days when you press "zero" on the phone's keypad and you get a real living person? You do? Man, you're probably over 50 by now. I still remember the rotary dial and when the wheel stops spinning you'll hear a very pleasant voice answering "Operator!" Since only a few can afford to subscribe to a telephone, the operator welcomes callers asking for assistance. The encounter over the phone turns into a brief friendly chat.
Today your operator has metamorphosed into a digital voice machine asking you to press 1 for Spanish, press 2 if you know the extension number of the person you want to reach, press 3 for company directory, etc. until you get to the end "all our customer representatives are currently busy assisting other customers; your call will be taken by the first available representative in the order your call came; your waiting time is approximately 16 minutes."
Holy Tuna! How many representatives are working in that @#$%^& company? If you're lucky you'll get connected to someone with a Bangladeshi sing-song greeting! This is where the fun begins.
Rep: Goood morning, sir, how may I asssist you today?
Me: Hello, I have a flat tire and I can't turn the lugs. They're too tight. I need roadside assistance.
Rep: Are you parked in a safe location?
Me: No. I'm under an overpass and there's no shoulder here.
Rep: I suggest you move your car to a safer location, sirr.
Me: No can do. The engine siezed. Won't turn.
Rep: Can you give me your location, sirr?
Me: I'm 2 blocks before the Gordon Multiplex cinema, facing north.
Rep: I mean what country, sirr.
Me: New York, USA. C'mon, I'm on Route 202 in Westchester County. My cell gives my location.
Rep: Sorry, sirr. I have no GPS monitor. I work part time from home... I'll call he nearest garage now.
Me: Where are you, by the way?
Rep: I'm in Calcutta, sir... excuse me... I just spilled my tea over my map... can you hold, please?
Me: Okay, but hurry up, it's starting to snow...
Rep: Alright, sirr, a mechanic is on the way. Please turn on your hazard lights for his benefit.
Me: I can't do that. I got locked out of my car. It's getting really cold now.
Rep: I'll tell the mechanic to bring an extra coat for you, sirr.
Me: Thank you. How long do I wait?
Rep: Maybe 1 hour sir. The mechanic is coming from Long Island...
Me: What? That's 2 hours away from here!
Rep: Sorry, sirr... it's a holiday and majority of roadside assistance shops are closed.
Me: I'm turning blue from the cold...
Rep: I'll tell the mechanic to bring you some coffee, sirr.
Me: But that'll be cold coffee by the time he arrives here!
Rep: Sorry, sirr. I'd like to assist you myself but you're so far away from Calcutta.
The tow truck arrive 4 hours later. It got held up in traffic on the Throgs Neck bridge. Meanwhile, I called 911 and the ambulance took me to Phelps Memorial Hospital for frostbite treatment. My car wasn't that fortunate, an SUV slid on the loose snow and slammed into it. Surprise - as my car caroomed off the jack, the pesky flat tire flew off, sending five stubborn lugs flying in all directions.
Oh, to be back in Manila again where I probably would be assisted by a couple of tricycle drivers to get that flat tire off!
Today your operator has metamorphosed into a digital voice machine asking you to press 1 for Spanish, press 2 if you know the extension number of the person you want to reach, press 3 for company directory, etc. until you get to the end "all our customer representatives are currently busy assisting other customers; your call will be taken by the first available representative in the order your call came; your waiting time is approximately 16 minutes."
Holy Tuna! How many representatives are working in that @#$%^& company? If you're lucky you'll get connected to someone with a Bangladeshi sing-song greeting! This is where the fun begins.
Rep: Goood morning, sir, how may I asssist you today?
Me: Hello, I have a flat tire and I can't turn the lugs. They're too tight. I need roadside assistance.
Rep: Are you parked in a safe location?
Me: No. I'm under an overpass and there's no shoulder here.
Rep: I suggest you move your car to a safer location, sirr.
Me: No can do. The engine siezed. Won't turn.
Rep: Can you give me your location, sirr?
Me: I'm 2 blocks before the Gordon Multiplex cinema, facing north.
Rep: I mean what country, sirr.
Me: New York, USA. C'mon, I'm on Route 202 in Westchester County. My cell gives my location.
Rep: Sorry, sirr. I have no GPS monitor. I work part time from home... I'll call he nearest garage now.
Me: Where are you, by the way?
Rep: I'm in Calcutta, sir... excuse me... I just spilled my tea over my map... can you hold, please?
Me: Okay, but hurry up, it's starting to snow...
Rep: Alright, sirr, a mechanic is on the way. Please turn on your hazard lights for his benefit.
Me: I can't do that. I got locked out of my car. It's getting really cold now.
Rep: I'll tell the mechanic to bring an extra coat for you, sirr.
Me: Thank you. How long do I wait?
Rep: Maybe 1 hour sir. The mechanic is coming from Long Island...
Me: What? That's 2 hours away from here!
Rep: Sorry, sirr... it's a holiday and majority of roadside assistance shops are closed.
Me: I'm turning blue from the cold...
Rep: I'll tell the mechanic to bring you some coffee, sirr.
Me: But that'll be cold coffee by the time he arrives here!
Rep: Sorry, sirr. I'd like to assist you myself but you're so far away from Calcutta.
The tow truck arrive 4 hours later. It got held up in traffic on the Throgs Neck bridge. Meanwhile, I called 911 and the ambulance took me to Phelps Memorial Hospital for frostbite treatment. My car wasn't that fortunate, an SUV slid on the loose snow and slammed into it. Surprise - as my car caroomed off the jack, the pesky flat tire flew off, sending five stubborn lugs flying in all directions.
Oh, to be back in Manila again where I probably would be assisted by a couple of tricycle drivers to get that flat tire off!
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